It was one fine afternoon in Makati,
Philippines and a summer night in Rochester, New York when exchanges
of greetings transpired. It started with a simple "Hello!"
and "How are you?" Of course, we had no idea that these first
few words were the start of a wonderful relationship. As we unfold this
story from the beginning, you will realize that in our journey, it all
began with a single step of moving forward and fulfilling a dream for
us.
The relationship developed when we started sending small ICQ (Internet
live chatting) notes. We both felt the spark immediately! As we sat
in front of our computers and enjoyed sending the messages, we both
had the satisfaction of knowing and experiencing that those hours had
been well spent, and that something very special was forming. During
those times, we had basically forgotten ourselves and we only thought
of each other. Each online chat was new excitement; we would share something
different about ourselves this time. Humm...what would we find
out today?
Then began the never ending sending of cards, photos, packages, poems,
voice messages, overseas calls, and more. The phone company and the
mailman were our best friends back then. Shirley recalls, "At one
point, Jim sent me a photograph of his computer area, and I saw my picture
posted in front of him (on his computer) and I was so delighted!"
We both felt joy in love at once, so, on July 25, 1999, we exchanged
our love, vows and promises. We were two people who understood each
other and were willing to accept each other and the dreams we have for
each other. We were committed. Now are but shadows of our own individual
dreams. There was a promise to be made, a life to be embarked on. We
continued our love for each other - expressing the warm and wonderful
days in telling each other how much we love and trust each other. We
did not limit those expressions of affection to a single day. During
the succeeding months the relationship grew much deeper.
As we continued our lives thousands of miles away, we realized that
we were supportive of each other's happiness - Jim's activities being
single in Rochester (golf, computer, going out with buddies, working
out, work at Kodak) and Shirley's activities in Manila (Family gatherings,
Bukas Loob sa Diyos Community, ROPHEH Medical Mission Group, watching
live bands, comedy acts, going out with friends, shopping, going out
of town, work at Monitor Company etc.)
Love, as wonderful as it was, became maddening at times. We realized
that we longed for each other - all the time. We knew we had to overcome
many obstacles to make our dream a reality, not the least of which was
the incredible distance we were from each other! We accepted all challenges
in love and both held on to our promises. Then we both agreed that it
would be wonderful if we could finally meet in person. We started planning
to be together in America. I surprised Jim with a confirmation of flying
to America that December. For Shirley's birthday, Jim showered her with
love, red roses and some gifts. Months later, we still believed that
we on the right track of making our love foundation stronger.
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Finally the "Big Day" arrived!
Shirley walked through the airport gate at New York's International
airport. Jim was waiting there smiling. Our eyes met and Jim held Shirley.
She could barely speak and felt uncomfortable beside him. We didn't
say much at first! We picked up the baggage. After a couple of hours,
we felt like close. Very close like what we used to be in front of the
computer. Maybe that sounds a bit silly, but we loved the way we felt.
There were a lot of things that we both liked doing together. We both
enjoyed discovering new places, of course there wasn't much time for
that. It was also during those times together that Shirley felt lonely,
missing life in the Philippines. Jim would often look into her eyes
and put his loving arms around her, comforting her and showering her
his love.
Then the very first memorable trip together - New York City, Rochester,
NY and meeting Jim's family and friends. New Years 1999 Jim flew to
Los Angeles to be with Shirley and her relatives. We went to Universal
Studios and drove to San Francisco (long drive!). The next day we drove
to Las Vegas (longer drive!). We both were together in Pomona, California
waiting for the year end and the start of the millennium.
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After our meeting in California,
Jim found himself in a whirlwind romance. We chatted for five months,
and during his second visit to see Shirley, he proposed on Easter Sunday
- not over the Internet but over a romantic place in Las Vegas.
We went to the court house and applied for a marriage license. Later,
we went to a mall and purchased wedding rings. Five minutes later, we
called Jim' s Mom and Shirley's Aunt to announce our wedding plans.
We chose to be married quickly in civil rights in Las Vegas, Nevada
to be legally together forever.
After what seemed like a lifetime of waiting for each other, as chance
would have it, two days after the marriage, we had to be separated for
a month before Shirley could finally follow me to Rochester, NY. We
lived in Rochester for six months with Jim's mom helping Shirley adjust
to America, and to being a housewife. In 2001, we settled into Winston-Salem,
North Carolina. Jim had been hired as a web developer at an exciting
company.
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